I recently read a fairly detailed article about the controversy in Australia over the push to have Grand Theft Auto V banned due to it's graphic depictions of violence against women. As you can imagine, views on this issue were sharply polarized. But, for the sake of time, I'll just say that the author of said article brought forth some very truthful, insightful observations.
I'll be honest, I am a fan of the Grand Theft Auto series, and have adapted a fairly cavalier attitude towards the things depicted in the game. To be certain, there is no shortage of innuendo, violence, or vulgarity in GTA. It is unapologetically, a sensationalized playground of crassness. Perhaps this shouldn't come as any surprise. After all, throughout the series, you do play as an active criminal, always seeking to solidfy your standing/position in that underworld.
Some might argue that the protagonists are not REALLY bad guys, but merely... lost? Indeed, in GTA, as well as in movies, tv, music, the way we have come to view the bad guys has changed. Bad guys aren't evil anymore. Instead, they're just misunderstood. We're not supposed to judge them. After all, one never knows what led them to being that person, right?
They could have been abused, neglected, grown up poor, grown up spoiled and rich, been an orphan, someone killed their dog, stole their girlfriend, etcetera, etcetera. So there's that.
Our collective thinking has gradually shifted, to the point where many times, if you think about it, you may realize that you are actually rooting for the bad guy more often than the good guy. Consider last year's release of Man Of Steel, which saw Superman's return to the big screen. But the success of that film was laughable in comparison to that of DC Comic's Dark Knight series. Why? It's the same old story. Superman is too good. He's not flawed enough. We want characters that we relate to. At least, that's what we're told.
So what does any of this have to do with Grand Theft Auto, or women for that matter? Well, here goes.
Men, and society at large have two very serious problems with how they understand women, and relate to them. First, there is a fundamental disconnect between what men think women should be, and what they actually ARE. Second, our society, but to a very large extent men, have been seduced by warped and twisted ideas about the roles that men and women play.
If you've played through Grand Theft Auto, and wandered through it's vast virtual cities, you may sense that it bears some resemblance to the real world. But closer observation renders it far less convincing, even cartoonish in a way.
It is ironic that the most popular of the GTA games take place in a 3D world, because most of it's representations of people are in fact one dimensional. Indeed, the building's of the Grand Theft Auto series are perhaps the only things that seem to aim for accuracy, or integrity.
In Grand Theft Auto III, all Columbians drive big trucks, wear cowboy hats and boots. The most notable presence of Asians/Asian Americans is in The Triad and the Yakuza, who also have the nicest cars in the game and own high rise buildings and a casino. The most notable presence of blacks is the Uptown Yardies, a rastafarian gang complete with beanies, dredlocks and horribly fake patois' (accents).
This is standard fare throughout most of the GTA games. Minorities are mostly gang members, women are either prostitutes, or ruthless sociopaths, or narcissisitic air heads pre-occupied with shopping at stores like GASH (GTA's version of The Gap). You also have a smattering of random NPC's to fill in the nameless, faceless masses that make up the rest of the world, but they are mostly unimportant.
At times, GTA will blind-side you with some commentary on the absurdities of modern life with the various talk-radio stations, or comments from random NPC's. But for the most part, Grand Theft Auto is all about extremes. There is little room for any in-between, and thus, little room for reality.
Why don't prostitutes fight back, or carry weapons? In the real world, I imagined you'd be hard-pressed to find a woman of the night who didn't carry mace, a switch-blade, or a gun. They HAVE to. And what about all of the little old ladies? I've known quite a few senior citizens that you would not want to approach in the wrong way. Unless you like the idea of 300,000 volts of electricity coursing through your body.
But you don't see these things in Grand Theft Auto.
I'm inclined to think that part of the problem is that when GTA first gained notoriety, perhaps we were naive, more pliable. Perhaps no one took offense simply because that virtual world being shown to us seemed so shiny and new. But now we are older, wiser, and we know that the real world we live in is not nearly so simple, or one dimensional. And here is where we stumble upon one of the crucial misunderstandings in modern society about women.
What is your image of the ideal woman?
What does she look like? What does she weigh? Is she pretty? Does she dress well, smell good? Is she intelligent, well educated? Does she like sports? Can she cook? Is she shy and demure, or bold and sassy? Can she fix a car, or would she rather plant a garden.
Now, whatever your answer is, understand that your image has absolutely nothing to do with what women really are.
Women are human.
No duh, right? Sounds too simple? It's not. In fact, many men do not get that... at all.
In my mind, one of the most damaging phrases to ever emerge in pop culture was the whole "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" thing. It's a stupid comment, and it perpetuates exactly wha is wrong in our society.
Young men DO NOT need to grow up thinking and perceving women as being like aliens from another planet or vice versa. And is there any irony in the fact that most films portray any would be "aliens" as aggressive and hostile?
Last time I checked, women require oxygen to breathe, have blood that flows through their veins, and need to eat, sleep, shower and poop like any guy does. Women have fears and doubts, but they can be courageous and strong. They get tired or depressed, or they can happy and full of life. Women can be clear and inciteful, or they can be misguided. They can be boundlessly good, or unspeakably evil. It's all there. The potential to be anything. And guys need to start with understanding that.
When I first heard about the #Gamergate fiasco/scandal, I admit part of me felt defensive. But not because I felt threatened by the idea of feminists, or just women trying to ruin gaming culture as some perceived it. I felt that Gamergate was just one more painful example of a beloved hobby of mine and so many others being needlessly politicized.
I'll be honest, I view Anita Sarkeesian with some measure of skepticism. I don't know whether she truly believes in her cause, or whether this is just an opportunity to become famous and make money. I hope there is some sincerity to her crusade.
Despite my criticism, Ms. Sarkeesian raises many points that are fairly irrefutable. The way women are portrayed in gaming is highly skewed, and imbalanced. And that brings me to my second point.
In light of the all of the recent events in the media related to women's rights, there was one thing that left me confused for quite a while. Ironically, it had nothing to do with gaming. In fact, it was a book. A book that eventually became a movie. You know it as Fifty Shades Of Grey.
I knew virtually nothing about this book until two seperate, female co-workers told me about it. I had heard about the book when it first began it's rise to fame, and what I had known at the time filled me with distaste.
Upon having the plot of the book explained to me, by these two co-workers, my sense of distaste was deepened and finalized. Ironically, out of the two women that discussed the book with me, one hated it, while the other enjoyed it. Therein lies the problem and what became the root of my confusion.
How, I thought, could any woman enjoy such a blatantly degrading and ridiculous book as this? How could it be a bestseller? Among women no less? How and for the love of god... why?
But the answer is simple.
At first, the answer that came to me is, "Well, I'm a man. Ofcourse I don't understand." But that would be just parroting more of that "Men Are From Mars..." insanity.
No. The answer is that the women who bought that book are also HUMAN, and they have all the complexities that go along with that. Women are not what we've been led to believe. "Women's Intuition" is about as real as the notion that all men love sports, and going to hardware stores on Sundays. Whatever you think you know about women, throw it out the window and start fresh with the realization that she IS someone pregnant with infinite possibilities just... like... you.
There is no one way to define or generalize women. What Anita Sarkeesian says is good for women might rub a good portion of them the wrong way, but it may also inspire and uplift another. Noone gets to stand up and say, "I represent ALL WOMEN" anymore. We are past that.
But what about rights, you may ask? Isn't that a real problem? Don't women want equality? I absolutely believe they do, but perhaps not as it has been expressed to most of us.
I believe women want equality to be whatever sort of person they wish to be. Some of us are not prepared for it. Some of us are frightened or disturbed by it. But, I believe that is what women want. Freedom to be nice, or not.. To be supportive, or not. To be crazy, or sane. To be promiscuous or monogamous. To be educated, or simple. But most importantly, to simply BE. On their own terms.
But, there's one last thing here, and it's a big one. Freedom is nice. It is. But at some point, men and women will have to learn the new ways in wich they wish to relate to another in a world that has changed oh so fast. These days there's a lot of talk about ethics, politics, and social progress, but very little talk about right or wrong.
At the end of the day, the problems that exist between men and women will not be solved until parents, whether they be married or single, woman or man, teach their sons and daughters how to have respect for one another and the MORAL obligation to do what's right.